D’Arne is a firm believer that it’s a lack of exercise that makes a heavy period. I have been bleeding for months. Like a scarlet kiwi fruit. Only out of my brain, and into the Olivetti. Out of my brain, but still from a dirty old cunt.

I get really stressed that Kim Kardashian might not get along with Beyoncé and maybe her and Jay Z feel awkward about it I stayed in bed til 3pm watching the Ray J Sex tape on repeat but I didn’t wank Cause that would Be like Fucking a friend’s Wife I’m comfortable knowing I have no desire to change. I’ll be a loser forever. If I could change one thing about my wife it would be that she Would wear my jumpers around the house more often; She would never need to wear a bra if I ruled the world. I never understand people who take a newspaper to the toilet I haven’t had a solid shit since 1995 but I’m also a compulsive liar I knew a guy who got so drunk he told me he once spread his ass cheeks in the bath and swayed back and forth to see what it would feel like to be a woman having sex that drunk guy was me; the bath was my mum’s house She comes home and I’m watching two men suck each other off on TV its a movie called “Strangers by the Lake” and it has subtitles so it must be art.

I keep some xanax and valium in a multivitamin canister with the word mood written on it. On my sister’s Google History It has How to lose Weight from your feet She confuses me very much. I say “I’m sorry I was drunk all them years” and she says “it’s okay” I say “I let the sadness take over and it helped me write a lot.” She rolls over in bed and I say “thank you for looking after me” She has fallen back asleep I don’t care if I never write a poem again. I knew the wine would get me eventually. I broke my spine after falling Three stories onto a flight of stairs. It hurts to sneeze But not to cum Vanessa de Rio Will agree with me On that one And after three months in hospital and laying in bed I’m recovered and sitting here trying to Learn Spanish From a site that uses a Sword fighting Cat as an Instructor Two screens Of this going At once. If this is how i will be spending my time maybe i would have been better off dead. She had dry sockets in her Mouth but not in her pussy. never that; No way, Never That. The only Champagne I have Is leg Ham (x3) Instead Of licking my lips to turn the page with ease I poke my finger Into the eye of my penis And roll the foreskin Around my First knuckle. The page turns With ease. I’m on a kindle All of this, and I’m not sure about it just yet, but I know for fact that I would be 150 percent more of an artist if I could speak French. * I hear my friend in the kitchen say; "I'll give you fifty cents for an egg you cunt" And I think FINALLY Real Poetry! All the words In all the languages are worthless when you break it down to this

With half a fat I read Henry Miller next to a pregnant woman and a black fella covered with lice. I keep my head down and read. I'm afraid someone is going to stab me in the back and I will feel the most amazing pain. I can see it all happening in my head. On the floor, bleeding to death. My ticket number next to my hand. My jeans poked out, tented, with a semi-boner. And the bird behind the counter saying, “Ticket 179?” “Ticket 179?” Over and over. “Ticket 179?”

I push the end, the tip, of my foreskin into the opening of my beer bottle. Of course it’s a strange thing to do. Especially when I take my next sip. Thinking, my dick has been here. Its skin on the glass. Like a bulldog on an ice cream. My dick has been here. It makes sense. My mum won’t let me buy a mouse because she says they smell bad. And D’Arne is pretending to be sick. It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. That’s why I do these silly things, and tell you all about them.

Ever since I started taking Prozac I can't wank. It's ruined my favorite pastime but made me relaxed about it. I know I should miss playing with my knob but I'm apathetic ; I go from watching 6 minutes of suicide videos to red tube and back again. Nothing… Put on some socks, look for my thongs; and then realize I'm an asshole. I had a dream that a Chinese man was on television making a trek to a holy land all the while he was cutting off parts of his face and turning it into a mask. The scabs would heal just enough so that he could continue living and walking but his hair all came off with the skin and looked like the head of a shaved Barbie doll. When he arrived his face was a horrible soupy mess, like a casserole. He bent down, put the mask of his face onto the head of a monkey and fell down dead. News reporters and media crews still filming away like a hive of angry bees. The monkey looked kinda pretty perched on his rock His new face just a shimmer of pink and red in the popping bulbs of cameras and police cars. I have a girl friend. I rub her feet into my face with hand cream and watch the little man waddle around the television flat screen. Bigger on my big ass television than he is in real life. I line the knob of my cock upwith his face ; you know, the way photographers frame things with their fingers. Still bigger. He says he feels lucky and I feel good knowing I'm Not the only one I put a small electric fan onto her toe nail and buff it with it's middle. She says "Please don’t hurt me." but I can't make promises I won't keep so I put the fan back in my pocket. When I take a piss I play the flush buttons like they are a piano. Hand above my head and two fingers bouncing on the keys, my dick in the middle thinking "How the fuck did I get to be in this position. What did I ever do so terribly right." I usually eat tinned soup even when I can afford something much better. I live at this low so I can enjoy the highs and not make other people think I'm a smug little prick. It's very important for me to stay grounded Even when I'm just a real hipster wanker who is desperate to be liked; you know underneath it all. I have a blog. I think, that says enough.

My shit smells like shiraz x3 Have you ever had diohreras so bad that you shit on your own dick a bit (in variancy)

Get fit with smooth brown hairless skin and fuck dumb busty blondes in Ferrari's Study 12 hours a day and earn 500k a year make your parents proud be kind loose weight read books dont go on a school shooting spree... and then eventually die in a car accident listening to Britney Spears updating your FB status Your last words; "OMG, WTF, SMH people are all so much stupider than ME!" Words truly worthy of an epitaph. finally your one true poem

She says I don’t support her in any thing she does; But tonight I have had three phone calls asking how she can hyperlink a you tube video from a power point presentation. Before the phone rang The first time, I was stumbling around my bedroom dancing with a polystyrene head. Wearing a fedora and high heels; drunken wobbly legs. I turn down the music. I give her the instructions. I Un-do my brazier. You crazy bitch, I can hardly support myself.

Porn often ends in a one woman victory against he world of man. Blowing warm, white chunks and spitting spoof bubbles at the camera. Crying out Shit, like; “Fuck me in my ass you piece of shit! fuck me in my ass.” It always reminds me of Mac Beth and V.Wolfe and Maggie Thatcher; Or the first time I ever pre-cummed or couldn’t get hard cause I was too drunk. A woman screaming “You piece of shit, You fucking piece of shit, Fuck me in my ass.” Honey still dripping out of her reamed out dick hole.

The Armenian barber Cuts my hair for 20 bucks And pulls hair Outta my nose with wax I tell him I'm getting Married on sat And he puts his hand On my shoulder and smiles For a long time. When I leave he gives Me a plastic comb As a wedding gift

He was introducing his new girl friend to his group of friends and without meaning to he made the situation immediately un-comfortable. He said; "Isn't she pretty". His face flushed red and she excused herself to the bath room while the rest of the party dug into bowls of potato crisps. In the bath room he said to a man washing his hands - "I always do that, I'm Sorry, i make things awkward all the time. I wish I had a..a ..a" trying to find the words he swung two fingers around in small swirling circles beside each other. The man, not knowing what to say asked if the word he was looking for was "time machine?" Adjusting his belt, a leather belt with dice on the buckle, he said "No, I mean to say a double barrel shot gun" Someone eating a curry on a bench in Jacana that night thought the dull boom was a single fire work, and he smiled to himself. She was the prettiest woman he had ever seen. *freestyle